Last night, I went to Staples Center to see the Los Angeles Clippers demolish the Sacramento Kings. While I thought that it was an interesting game, I have to admit that at times I had trouble following the action because I kept getting distracted by two overly enthusiast fans.
One was Clipper Darrell. Now, Darrell is a staple at the Staples Center (you see what I did there?) so if you've ever been to a Los Angeles Clipper game, or caught the local broadcast on television, you may have seen him in the crowd. He's the dude in the red on the left side, blue on the right side suit screaming Let's go Clippers, let's go! at the top of his lungs. One has to wonder if he has a similar red and blue suit at home, one with the colors reversed. You know, red on the right, blue on the left. I mean, what did he do with the other halves of suits that he used to make his Clipper outfit? It'd be a waste to toss those halves in the trash when you could make another suit, right?
I guess you could consider Clipper Darrell a mascot. I mean, he's not a paid employee like the Phoenix Suns' Gorilla or the San Antonio Spurs' Coyote, but Darrell out there trying to rile up the crowd just the same. He's just a fan that really, really, really, really like the Clippers. I mean, I can't imagine myself being that type of fan but hey, I understand he's a long time season ticket holder so he can do whatever he likes, I guess. Clearly of all the people in attendance for last night's game, he had the most fun. And even though not all Clipper fans enjoy his antics, he seems to be having a good time so more power to him.
Who had the least amount of fun last night? The 14 year old dude that had the misfortune of sitting directly in front of Clipper Darrell. That poor kid got to have a grown ass man yelling three feet from his ear for two hours.
The other fan that distracted me was Rental Man. Basically, his entire shtick is jumping around and gyrating like a crack addict during timeouts and breaks. But during the action, he'll take off his colonial wig and sit in his seat, watching intently as if were a crucial playoff games or something. And I'm assuming that his name is Rental Man because that's what it said on the back of his custom Clippers jersey. This dude's a little different and makes even less sense to me because from what I understand, he's a bit more mercenary. At the end of the day, Clipper Darrell is a Clipper fan but I've seen Rental Man at Laker games in a Lakers jersey and friends of mine have seen him at Los Angeles Kings and Anaheim Ducks' games. A co-worker of mine even said that she saw Rental Man shaking his ass at a Dodger game.
What I don't understand is what drives someone to completely waste his time, effort and money to act like a complete moron at these games? Other than the whole LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! rush or whatever, what could Rental Man possibly get from all this? Oh, and last night he had better seats than I did last night and my tickets had a face value of $125. Who's paying for this crap?
Like I said, Rental Man's obviously not an exclusive Clipper fan like Clipper Darrell, so what's the fucking point? Maybe he's an actor looking to get discovered. I suppose that's possible. I mean, Brad Pitt did begin his show business handing out flyers in front of an El Pollo Loco which wearing a giant chicken costume. Maybe Rental Man is hoping someone rents him for some sort of event. Which is a fantastic idea, by the way. A six foot man in a lycra shirt and George Washington wig simulating a crack-induced seizure with your brand name pasted on his chest?
Hells yeah! Who wouldn't want in on that action?